Open Cases
Big Nasty Got All Up Into
While parked at home, someone opened the car door and took all the stuff from the glove box and center console and put them on the passenger seat; they even dug around Big Nasty’s milk crate storage bin. Nothing is missing: 80$(US) was left behind.
The Case of: Who the Fuck Actually Eats Raisins?
July 3rd, 2022: one of our clients discovered an empty snack box of California Raisins. Who the fuck eats raisins?
A cousin of the victim is a person of interest; interviews to be conducted.
Pauper’s Hill South of the Mill?
Legend has it that there is a pauper’s burial ground south of Caraleigh Mills; this is a 20 years old cold case that The Thaw is still investigating. We suspect that it is within the beltway. A gravestone was found north of Walnut Creek. There have been grave sitings south of the creek as well. Our second expedition turned up bunk. We’ve since consulted with venerable locals and have a new data; we are going back to find graves and answers.
A third exploratory expedition is scheduled.
Cheese offed
Illinois: car hit by cheese slice while parked in driveway, over night. Forensic analysis indicates:
Cheese was thrown, not placed
Cheese slinger was right-handed
Attack initiated from the northeast of the car
Likely American Cheese
Observation: four points of cheese some tipped up, some tipped down: this that a thumb impression?
